I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
