i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
