I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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