i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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