I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize