I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize