im having a threesome with these popsicles
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
