So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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