there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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