Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize