I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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