R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
