What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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