just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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