do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
