WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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