i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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