This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think I died a long time ago.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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