He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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