im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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