Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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