i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
