Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize