why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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