That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
