I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
