You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Alive.
So much puke
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
