dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
