im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
