At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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