you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
