This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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