time to smoke my breakfast
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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