I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
