ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize