I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Less talking, more tequila
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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