How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
