I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
