God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
