I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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