Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
