it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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