If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Screwed.edu
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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