So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
