Kareoke will never be a sober sport
This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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