can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
