Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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