So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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