I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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