it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
