i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
