Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
