I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Four minutes until I can fart!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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