your thong is hanging out like whoa
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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