i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
