they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
