awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
