just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
