Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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