Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
